It’s been 5 years of fit and lately I’m struggling with my fitness
It’s not an anniversary or anything I’ve just been seeing posts in my facebook timeline “memories” of that first year of fit – what a FUN time! Oh it was a LOT of work, but it was fun reaching goals, trying new things, finding things I was good at or at least enjoyed trying to be good at haha. Disappointments too but finding the strength to continue past them was even a joy. A year of discovering parts of me that I didn’t even know!
↓↓↓ this was on my timeline this morning
In the years since, I’ve experienced awesome and struggle, personal bests and setbacks … maybe it’s expected, they say maintenance is the hardest part, that after 5 years the struggle lingers a bit longer and the awesome is sometimes just finding the strength – not to get ahead – but to fight to stay where you are!
Most recently a big disappointment set in when I played kickball with the family and reactivated my hamstring injury Then I was invited to play some fun soccer with new friends out at the bleachers – hubby joined in and I cringed when he said “ya my wife can’t play, she can’t run”. I’ve worked out 4-5 days a week for the last 5 years, I’m a pretty fit girl … and I can’t even use my fitness to “play”.
I keep showing up though and trying to keep it fun – we did a playground workout and I love making the goofy exercise videos I post (you gotta follow on instagram).
But I’m kinda feeling like a boat out on the lake with no oars. I’m afloat (thank you habits) and sometimes drift one way or another but not really headed in any one direction (I need goals) and certainly not with any speed (I don’t even know an analogy for my oars, that’s how lost they are).
Maybe I need to find someone to jump in the boat with me so we can work together … or maybe I need to figure out how to fashion some oars all by myself. I refuse to just wait for it to sink But have not an idea what to do about it!
I really really believe in the motivational power of goals – even silly ones (my pushup goal kept me motivated for a whole year!) But goals are difficult at the moment. Shallow goals don’t hold much power, certainly not long term. Performance goals are fun but I have several injuries that make those less feasible right now. The “just keep showing up” goal is getting boring…